“singapore”
May 5, 2008 by constantquantum
everywhere & nowhere 26
July 18
Singapore
Collin calls the place Mc-Singapore
This city is a tad soulless. Orchard Road = three solid kms of mall upon glorious mall.
Like Hong Kong’s “Buy me”sirens, without half the character. As clean and tastelessly efficient as a Mc Donald’s restaurant.
& I gave in to the urge to sell my soul to an electronics-specialty consumerism. One video camera richer… one conscience poorer… and one evening wiser…
See:
Johnny and our truck finally caught up to us yesterday
full stop
his hard hands are used to gripping a gearshift
As for the stakes? Same old story maybe…
Naked on the floor of his magic dragon monster
his lips on my body
everywhere
…until i’m nowhere…
& his hands are hard, used to gripping a gearshift
This wasn’t supposed to happen
When did I lose track of where I was?
On the plane? or on a train?
in the jungle? or at a temple?
Yesterday, maybe, while on my own exploring this consumer city with an eye to buy?
Or was it today, when his gaze stole into my space?
Or tonight, while my eyes were closed to his kisses
and his hard hands assumed my compliance…
as if I were a gearshift
…as if I were will-less…
or simply disinherited
&
I think (I can’t remember for sure)
I think I left him lying naked on the floor
and I am
running
running
I think (I can’t remember for sure)
I think I stopped in the middle of a 3:00a.m.-in-Singapore-street,
and I am
spinning
spinnning
arms outstretched, face turned up to the steamy rain
…his hands, no longer on my body, are still
reaching
touching
shifting…
neon red mollasses-crashing waves-bamboo pulling at my hair
i am spinning
around and round
centrifugal force
July 20
en medias res
Tucked away in the back zip pocket of my bag, I have been toting a postcard.
on the front:
A picture of a romantic Malay sunset. Palm trees in silhouette leaning peacefully over a sandy beach; the sea, a placid and reflective horizon, all rosy and orange.
on the back:
playing
playing
pseudo-sadistic-sex-power games in South East Asia
The card and the message have no destination
I carry them around like a conscience.
